Inactive for quite a while.
So while I scramble for final exams and lament about the sheer stupidity of Public Law, why I don't give a flying fuck about the British Constipation, why I only get upset when most of my friends are asleep or overseas and unable to give me a physical hug, and why my cosplay troubles are not being solved by the fact that I can't find a proper Namie wig...
Here. Have some anime opening/ending songs. Because I don't know what else to say here right now. Other than the fact that I'm stressed out of my mind.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
it's just one of those days
Where you feel like life has shat on you, stamped all over your bowels and drenched your head in piss. Grotesque imagery as this may be, that's how you're feeling now- it's not that anything has gone wrong, it's not that there's been anything different about this day except the usual drone of normalcy. Yet at the end of it all something or maybe someone sparked a strange kind of fury within you, a negative mass of emotion that has welled up inside and is bursting to come out.
It's not like you can ask him, ask her, ask you? These feelings are spilling out like tomato sauce on fries, gushing from your heart like a woven string of lies. You want to give out your soul but you're afraid that it'll be hurt, you want to share your feelings but you're so scared of rejection, of hate, scared of fear itself that you're holding yourself back. You aren't the best of people... You aren't pretty aren't talented aren't awesome aren't bright, you aren't anything that you wish you could be even if people keep telling you that you are.
And yet you know that this is only temporary, that when you wake up the next morning it'll be all sunshine and butterflies and smiles again. You're not a depressing person but sometimes you feel that way, you feel guilty for being that way because there are people whose lives are worse than yours who face every day with a laugh. Which is what you do when you don't think too much... So why are you being such a whiny brat? Why can't you just accept what you have and run with the flow? Why do you hesitate, hold everything back?
... Why?
It's not like you can ask him, ask her, ask you? These feelings are spilling out like tomato sauce on fries, gushing from your heart like a woven string of lies. You want to give out your soul but you're afraid that it'll be hurt, you want to share your feelings but you're so scared of rejection, of hate, scared of fear itself that you're holding yourself back. You aren't the best of people... You aren't pretty aren't talented aren't awesome aren't bright, you aren't anything that you wish you could be even if people keep telling you that you are.
And yet you know that this is only temporary, that when you wake up the next morning it'll be all sunshine and butterflies and smiles again. You're not a depressing person but sometimes you feel that way, you feel guilty for being that way because there are people whose lives are worse than yours who face every day with a laugh. Which is what you do when you don't think too much... So why are you being such a whiny brat? Why can't you just accept what you have and run with the flow? Why do you hesitate, hold everything back?
... Why?
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
There are ways to make a rant sound poetic
And this is not one of them.
I have an essay due tomorrow, laundry that needs to be done, a headache, a stomachache, and diarrhea. To top it all off I would really like to throw a shoe at an idiot's head.
Oh GOD how difficult is it to suck it up and ask for an extension? I... Don't want to do it. I've never had to ask for an extension on an essay before. Not in school, not in university... Pride is a very powerful thing, and while I don't have much of it I have a certain image of myself that I have to hold true, even if it's to only me.
Must do it. Even if it means staying up till five. Must. Must. Must.
I have an essay due tomorrow, laundry that needs to be done, a headache, a stomachache, and diarrhea. To top it all off I would really like to throw a shoe at an idiot's head.
Oh GOD how difficult is it to suck it up and ask for an extension? I... Don't want to do it. I've never had to ask for an extension on an essay before. Not in school, not in university... Pride is a very powerful thing, and while I don't have much of it I have a certain image of myself that I have to hold true, even if it's to only me.
Must do it. Even if it means staying up till five. Must. Must. Must.
Monday, February 22, 2010
The stuff you listen to...
Do you think your music reflects your personality?
Recently I've rediscovered F.I.R, a band I used to listen to when I was what. Thirteen? Fourteen? They were literally the only Chinese group I ever liked, and probably will always be since my taste in music has changed drastically since then. Crashing cymbals and guitar riffs have long since drowned out melodious voices and cutesy bopping in the background. But I suppose a part of me will always have a soft spot for bubblegum pop- if you can really call it that. Because what are genres, really, if not means to limit the reaches of a song?
I still haven't done that freaking essay, so here's some F.I.R to keep you busy while I drag Jasamine's ass to McDonald's, play some tetris, chat to people on MSN and gain about a zillion kilograms in the process. After all, I have until Wednesday to get my ass into gear. Hard work pays off tomorrow, but procrastination pays off today. So why wait?
... I got that last line off a T-shirt in Camden Market by the way. Yes, that is where I gather most of my genius. T-shirt slogans.
The optimism. The sheer levels of happy. They kill me with the feeling they give off that everything is going to be all right, there's a wide horizon in the distance and that all your dreams are going to come true. Not quite sugar and lollipops but maybe citrus fruits and minty breath- I was like that when I was fourteen, and I'd like to go back to being like that now. Where everyone was good deep down, where I didn't second-guess everyone I met, where it didn't matter that I could cry a river in public and drown my sorrows in tears.
When did I become like this? When did the happiness suddenly manifest a darker side, one full of anger and pent-up rage? Not that the happy isn't still there- it's still what dominates, what holds me to be true. But where's the trust? The naiveté? The feeling that I was number one?
... Where?
Recently I've rediscovered F.I.R, a band I used to listen to when I was what. Thirteen? Fourteen? They were literally the only Chinese group I ever liked, and probably will always be since my taste in music has changed drastically since then. Crashing cymbals and guitar riffs have long since drowned out melodious voices and cutesy bopping in the background. But I suppose a part of me will always have a soft spot for bubblegum pop- if you can really call it that. Because what are genres, really, if not means to limit the reaches of a song?
I still haven't done that freaking essay, so here's some F.I.R to keep you busy while I drag Jasamine's ass to McDonald's, play some tetris, chat to people on MSN and gain about a zillion kilograms in the process. After all, I have until Wednesday to get my ass into gear. Hard work pays off tomorrow, but procrastination pays off today. So why wait?
... I got that last line off a T-shirt in Camden Market by the way. Yes, that is where I gather most of my genius. T-shirt slogans.
The optimism. The sheer levels of happy. They kill me with the feeling they give off that everything is going to be all right, there's a wide horizon in the distance and that all your dreams are going to come true. Not quite sugar and lollipops but maybe citrus fruits and minty breath- I was like that when I was fourteen, and I'd like to go back to being like that now. Where everyone was good deep down, where I didn't second-guess everyone I met, where it didn't matter that I could cry a river in public and drown my sorrows in tears.
When did I become like this? When did the happiness suddenly manifest a darker side, one full of anger and pent-up rage? Not that the happy isn't still there- it's still what dominates, what holds me to be true. But where's the trust? The naiveté? The feeling that I was number one?
... Where?
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Just a little introduction.
I'd give a frank reason as to why I started blogging again, but really you don't want to know. Don't worry, guys, it's not something like I've got some long-lost lover across the globe or anything like that; neither is it because I'm horribly depressed and need an outlet to channel my energy into. If I was, I'd consult a therapist, thank you very much. I think it'd incite more of a response than a computer screen.
No, the reason is simple: I don't want to do my Contract Law essay. Eight hundred words left, two hundred words down, a book open in front of my computer and my fingers typing away. Not at the work, mind you, but at a random blog post for a random new blog that I swear (like I did the last time, and the time before that) that I'm going to actually keep. Like fireflies or ants or brains my online diaries have died, and hopefully it won't be the same with this one. I've just gotten off Skype, I can't be arsed to do proper writing, and I don't really feel like talking to too many people at this time so yeah.
Another channel for procrastination. How awesome is that? But really, this is also supposed to be an outlet for me to post ideas, dreams, thoughts, rants. Just like the last blog, and the one before that- only this one will be better.
... Which is what I said the last time, but whatever. So. The usual stuff. Hi, I'm Wei Yun, I'm not posting my last name here and if you know it please don't put it up either. I'm eighteen going on nineteen, 23rd May, but presents are welcome any time of the year so long as you don't use my address to stalk me. I like cookies. I like orange.
I have a freaking Contract Law essay that really, really needs to get done.
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